In a world of so-called perfectionism and societal standards, embracing flaws has become a rare trait people possess. It is never about accepting individual differences and all about some baseless benchmark that society has set to be good enough for the world. This has taken a toll on the mental well-being of so many people, including me.
I feel like we are so used to this that we’re not even aware of its existence. The stress that we exert on ourselves to do more, be better than that person and in the process lose the whole purpose of why we started in the first place. Sometimes, we even lose our identity in the process of striving to be something deemed worthy by society.
A concept from the book ‘Play Bigger’ quotes that life is like a deck of cards. All of us are dealt with cards at birth. Some get lucky with great cards and some are not so lucky. The choice that we can make here is the way we choose to play them which is totally in our hands.
There’s no use in having a victim’s mentality saying that life is unfair just to you. The truth is life does not always play by your side and we need to come to terms with that. What we can do is make the best out of it by living in alignment with our values.
We, humans, are never satisfied with what we have. People say ‘if I have that one thing, my life would be better’, ‘if I reach that one goal, I’m set for the rest of my life’. However, that isn’t the case and people will still want more after that one thing is achieved. By this, I don’t mean that you have to settle for less or stay stagnant in life, what I’m saying is to question yourself.
Are you doing this for yourself or are you doing this to impress others? People often fall prey to dichotomous thinking, where it is either being excellent or nothing at all. It is also known as polarity thinking where there is no middle ground. This can be toxic and isn’t a stable way of thinking.
In this case, a good practice would be to find a balance by making a list as to what is the intention behind doing something and what value does it hold in the long run of your life.
Have you ever questioned yourself if you can make it in this highly competitive world? I sure have. Looking at people achieve such great things in life often puts us in a mood of questioning our own competence. Even if we finally start taking steps towards our goal, we’re often blocked by road bumps like doubt, overthinking, and other resistant factors.
Many tend to give up at this stage doubting their own capabilities and confidence. No one has ever become confident overnight or was born with it naturally. It is something that comes with lots of practice. I urge you to start working towards your passion or goal little by little, with no pressure. Eventually, you will see results and this will bring you a confidence boost.
Let me put it out there right now. You’re going to be judged by people no matter what you do. Even if you do the humblest act, there’s still going to be someone that will handpick faults. I know this can affect people with pure intentions. We just cannot impress and satisfy everyone in this world so you might as well do something that makes you happy.
This goes both ways and you don’t have the right to judge other people as well. Everyone is dealing with their own problems in life and no one has the right to judge another person. Some of my favorite principles to live by is from a book named ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The agreements are:
Be impeccable with your word.
Don’t take anything personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
Some actionable steps to get you started:
Write down a list of things that you’d like to improve in your life.
Every day, take at least 30 mins to work towards it.
Break your goal down into small actionable items.
Don’t avoid your emotions and just feel whatever you’re feeling at the moment. Suppressing them now will only make them resurface at a later time.
Don’t give up during hard times. All your progress will go to waste so think about it.
This may sound cliched but maintaining a gratitude journal helps. I personally use an app called ‘Presently’ for it.
Hope you enjoyed the read. Sending positive vibes your way. Stay safe!
Take care.