- Darshana Ananth
I Have Changed
Updated: Oct 5, 2021
The other day, I was sitting alone on my balcony enjoying the view. Lush greens, blue skies, and faraway hills, almost felt like a painting, unreal. This is why I love Ooty, my hometown. My memories came in like a fresh breath of air. These past few months, I took a break and have been reflecting on life.
I started prioritizing my values, interests, and things that make me happy. Now that I think of it, last year was such a blur. A lot of exciting things happened! I graduated college with a 9.3 GPA, already had a job in my hands, my parents were so proud of me and my future somehow felt so bright and exciting. Little did I know my life would be so different than the one I had imagined for myself.
I realized a lot of things after I quit the job and I could never have thought of these things when I was there because the stress was clouding my judgment.
Every job has its pros and cons, and stress comes along with it which you cannot avoid. You will feel as if your work is not appreciated even though you worked your ass off. It is natural for your colleagues and manager to be annoying, and you don’t know what they are going through so you can’t really blame anyone.
I still remember my last day in the office so vividly. I had mixed feelings and the one thing I craved for was finally here, peace of mind. It was so liberating and my toxic feelings were fading and I felt a sense of freedom and happiness that I had never felt before. These past few months have changed how I perceive things and this break was a much-needed one.
There is nothing wrong with taking time off to take care of your mental and physical health. I took this experience as a chance to realign my values. While I had the luxury to take a break, not everyone can afford to do the same, however, you can put some time aside to reflect and ask yourself “Is this what I truly want?” or “Does this work make me feel like I’m doing something worthy with my time?”
I stopped taking everything so seriously.
I stopped encouraging small talks.
I’m happy with a small circle of 2-4 close friends.
I stopped seeking validation for everything that I put out into the world.
I gave myself the liberty to feel however I’m feeling, without hiding my emotions.
I stopped judging people for the way they lived their lives and started focusing on bettering my own.
I’ve become better at forgiving.
I stopped desiring the material things that I absolutely didn’t need in my life.
I’ve learned to look at the good side of things rather than pointing out the bad.
I started avoiding people who I thought were bad for my energy.
I started reading more books.
I started to go to bed early.
I write down my goals and plan out my month in my journal.
I started listening to personal growth podcasts.
I started channeling my inner chaotic thoughts into writing poetry.
I came to a realization that anything is possible if you have the courage and patience. Miracles don’t happen overnight.
So if you are someone struggling to get your life together, don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not the only one out there. If you don’t make a choice for yourself, someone else will do it for you.